So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
