How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
