Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
