The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
