He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
