Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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