Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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