fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
