that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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