HIV tests are more positive than that guy
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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