the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
So squirting runs in the family.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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