She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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