You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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