I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
