I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm lost and stupid without you.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
