but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you will always have a special place in my vag
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
