You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
