you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
