We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
