please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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