fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
