there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
