I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
