I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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