I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
