and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
