If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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