I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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