when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I would fuck him just for his dog
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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