I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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