This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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