Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
