Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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