yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
