$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
