i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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