Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
