Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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