i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
