she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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