just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Damn victory sex feels great
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
