All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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