we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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