Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
