she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
