i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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