It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
