"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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