She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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