That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
