where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
