sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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