Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
